Poor Sophie girl continues to struggle with her sleeping and last night we had a REAL tough night. I spent the entire night with her in her crib and neither of us got much sleep. I wish I knew why she hated her crib so much. Aaron and I decided though tonight that we’re going to take advantage of the Labor Day holiday weekend and try to solve this. Our plan is to push Trent’s crib into the bedroom across the hall from the nursery and let him sleep there. We will then put Sophie in her crib by herself and let her ( GULP) cry it out – even it if it takes 3 days. I know every parent goes through this but something about Sophie’s early struggle in life makes this especially hard. We have to buck up though. The combo crashing in her crib is clearly not working for either of us.
Trentman is so close to walking. He is SO stable and he’s beginning to take little steps on his own. He loves his stride ride shoes and they seem to certainly be helping with his stability. Hopefully this weekend makes the magic work and he just takes off. Being the ever-competitive one- Once Trent walks- I’m quite sure it will just be the push Sophie needs and then she too will take off.
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Today we had speech and physical therapy. Talk about a double whammy! Wow- lots of work! Trent unfortunately chose not to be very verbal with the speech therapist while she was at the house but did seem to respond somewhat to the sign language she was using. I try to use it from time to time (I’ve been given some wonderful books on it) and am hoping that it may just be an added skill he has should his speech not be everything that it needs to be.
It was so cute. With two therapists at once they were able to put both babies on the big medicine ball (its that oversized ball that all women buy to use for back and tummy exercises but never end up using) and sang “Wheels on the Bus”. The purpose of the exercise is to help the babies with balance and posture (something I know I could use even at my advanced age). They had such fun. The therapist clearly care for the babies and just try to relate to them in the space their in. Karen our physical therapist asked about Sophie’s sleeping and when I told her that the neuro team had ruled out any shunt issues but yes I was still sleeping in her crib- I saw both of the therapist give each other a look. I then told them that Stanford had recommended Sophie see a “developmental pediatrician” and that I had a feeling it been determined by the docs that Sophie had a “psychosomatic” issue. Yep- they said. I was pretty much right on and I could probably anticipated “leather cribs and ink blotches” for Sophie when we see the developmental person. Oh well at least I know what we’re in for. I’ve also wondered if I’ve caused some of it by letting her watch television in the middle of the night. Perhaps she thinks she’s missing something? I’m now trying to just snuggle with her when she gets up without any stimulus- in the event she’s getting up for something. My plan though is to move to a sleeping bag though in their room rather than lay on the floor holding her hand in her crib. I’ll still hold her hand an all that after I get out of the crib- but the hardwood floors are well -hard so I need some extra padding if I’m going to continue this routine.
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What funny little people our babies are. Clearly they are trying to make up for the extremely low birth weight – and as a result want to eat everything in site. Tonight we had our annual Monday night dinner (next week is the last night until next Memorial Day) and out came the outer pops. Both babies (especially Sophie were SOOO happy). First there is the thrill of the color popsicle that’s frozen (which I’m sure feels especially good to one getting teeth) and then as if it couldn’t get any better- there is the ability to wave around the empty plastic sleeve. Trent of course was more interest in the ones that have Popsicle in them (wanting to try out every color) but Sophie was happy to be able to eat and wave. I now know that whenever we have any social occasion I must feed the babies a Ton before we go. I tried to feed them tonight before we went outside but once again they acted like they’d never see a meal.
Tomorrow is physical and speech therapy. I’m excited about the speech therapy, as I know Trent’s vocabulary has vastly improved since our last assessment but I fear our physical therapist will be disappointed that we still aren’t walking. I’m not sure why the steps are so hard but they are.
Sophie had sort of a better night last night, She and I hung in her crib until 12:30 at which time I climbed out and stretched out on the floor. She then slept until 3am – at which time she woke up screaming. Not fabulous but it beats her screaming at 2:30am and I’ll take that. Tonight we will push more a longer sleep and just keep at it.
Today we had very nice family day (in between the normal chores of grocery shopping etc- that we try to do when one of us can watch the babies to enable a brisk event).
We so enjoy our time together though. Just hanging out as a family seems so special. We love our walks in the morning and today we spent the afternoon at the park. Getting the stroller and/or wagon of the garage though for now is a challenge due to the relandscaping. Today they put in the rebar for the new driveway and so what once was 4-wheeling is now just a “pick up and carry it and get the babies once it’s on the sidewalk”. It will all be done though in the next two weeks, and our former dirt mound will then be a place the babies can play.
I’m starting to worry a little more each day that they’re not walking yet. It seems like we’ve been crawling for ages and that walking should already be here. All of us (including our wonderful caregivers Doris and Jenifer) have been practicing walking on a daily basis and although they’re much more stable than they have ever been- they’re still not walking. I know, I know, I know we’re not supposed to compare our babies to others the same age (our social worker and development specialist must have said that to us everyday while we were in the hospital) but after seeing babies yesterday that were the same age as mine but clearly HUGE development steps ahead- it’s hard not to worry.
I remember the hospital folks telling us that by the time the babies were two they be developmentally caught up and yet it still feels like we’re far behind and next March isn’t really that far away. It kind of reminds me of people who used to tell me I’d meet my spouse in college and given that all I managed to date was complete and total losers – I had the same feeling of freak out as graduation approached. I guess I have to remember that Trent and Sophie will do things at their own pace when they’re ready.
I do know though that they are smart. They always want to play in our room and empty all of our drawers and so we typically shut the door to keep them out. Tonight however they made a big event of pushing the chair that sits at our desk in the kitchen. Of course the logical place for me to put it was in our bedroom- so I opened the door and they did the speed crawl into our room while I had my hands full of the chair. It was then that I realized the whole pushing of the chair was a strategy to get me to open the door to the “forbidden room.” They got me.
Today reminded me a lot of when I was on maternity leave only the babies are so much bigger and I am so much better at juggling them both. Aaron had a work event that required him to leave at 8am and it’s almost 9pm and he’s still not back. We sure did miss our family time but managed to get in our walk, do our errands in town, and go to our friend Carl’s 2nd birthday party (our friends Tonya & Craig’s son). Also with a little help from my folks (they watched the babies mid day)- I was able to attend a memorial service for our neighbor/friend Dave Davis’s mother- and be there to support the Davis family.
Funny how getting our of starbucks with my mocha, the stroller and getting the dog required a strategy. (Neither the stroller design or our local starbucks lends itself to holding coffer and a double stroller).
I know it sounds very silly but I was especially proud of myself for managing the birthday party by myself. Our friends live in the San Carlos hills in this beautiful home that overlooks the Bay but has a TON of stairs and a very steep drive way. When I got there I just stood at the top of the driveway and thought, “wow- I can do this”. I’ve also gotten into the habit of carrying the babies like footballs under my arms when I’ve got both of them at once- and with a little help from Tonya’s husband and father-n-law- I was able to manage the kids and our double wide stroller. The babies had SO much fun with their friend Carl and his friends. Tonya took a Uhaul box and turned it into a giant tube for the kids and mine just loved it. I’m thinking once our landscaping is done- hitting Uhaul for giant boxes to build our own tunnel for play will be a must have. I could tell they can’t wait to walk too as all the other kids were and they just wanted to keep up. Hopefully before fall hits us they will just take off.
Last night Sophie and I hung out in her crib for about 1hr and then I’ve moved to the floor below her crib. She did great until the 2:30am bewitching hour and once again- stood up screaming. No amount of soothing would help so I ended up just putting her in the swing. We’ll keep working it though to try and get past that 2:30am which seems so hard.
The babies are both getting more and more teeth – and Trent is clearly in pain. Poor little guy- it clearly hurts. He’s got a snotty nose (which no one likes) and played hard today- so tonight he is totally wiped out. Fussy little man and crashed early. I’m kind of hoping to get his hair trimmed up this weekend- he’s beginning to look like such a hairbear. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find a child hairstylist so my plan is to take him to my local stylist in Willow Glen and she said she’d chase him around the salon if necessary. I hope she has her running shoes on. Tonight we were doing the hokey pokey (I’m sure Aaron and I have both always had a closet fantasy of singing it in our living room and just haven’t had a reason until now) but we had a great time. That entire disco clearly has paid off and the babies both had Rhythm! Trent was just shaking his booty as we sang the hockey poky and has his dad’s hip movements.
Sophie girl is SO verbal. This morning when I got ready to leave she knew packing up my computer and grabbing my purse met I was out the door (along with our caregiver Doris’s arrival) and now mastered “Bye mama” although she does wave backwards – with her hand at herself. It is so sweet.
I know I swore I was just going to accept that she’s not going to give the crib but it is the weekend so she and I can both buck up and give it one more try in the crib. Perhaps we can start a Friday night tradition of being chicks together in her crib.
We heard from the neuro team at Stanford today and according to them, absolutely, positively nothing related to Sophie’s shunt could be causing the sleep issues. They also suggested we contact a developmental pediatrician and have several names for us. I suppose had my babies been born closer to their original justistation I might be offended that someone is suggesting that we see a developmental pediatrician (which sounds like the child version of pshyochmatic by the way) but at this point who cares? I’m all for a solution! So we’ll try that. There’s also the school have though that we should 1) let her cry it out (brother in the same room being a problem) 2) let her sleep in the swing until Trent can say “sister- what’s up” with not sleeping in you’re crib in our room?
They are SOOOO close to walking. Today Sophie and I were practicing holding hands and she went 4-5 steps. Around the block feels so close. Trentman seems less stable though. Strong holding himself up but less inclined to hold my hand and walk. I suppose that’s good though that they won’t go at the same time. Aaron and I become glad very quickly that our home isn’t two stories and larger.