Woohoo – our very tired babies slept through the whole night was just one or two (Sophie girl) wake ups. Such a blessing.
Mornings are such a blessing. There is something about walking into their room in the morning and having Sophie say “hi mama” and Trent say “ the mama” when he sees me. And of course both say it with big smiles. I am so blessed.
I know it may seem silly that I still refer to them as babies but technically they’re not yet two and they still do stumble a bit (fairly new walkers and all) so to Aaron and I – they are still considered babies until at least the end of June.
Tonight as I was putting away their laundry I was sort of mentally running through our schedule for the rest of the week in my head and it occurred to me that I just really dread and dislike Tuesdays. After a great deal of thought I realized that the cold hard truth of the matter is that part of the reason I dislike Tuesdays so much is that Sophie’s therapist and I don’t connect, Sophie seems to struggle with her when I am in the room and is just really hard. I love Trent’s therapist and watching his progress but Sophie’s is so hard. As much as I’ve tried, Sophie’s therapist and I just don’t connect and I’m actually intimidated by his 28-year-old therapist. She say’s stuff about Sophie wanting my attention and how much better Sophie does with Aaron and Tia at therapy and the whole thing just makes me have a “ I’m a crappy mom” party. I was telling my neighbor Jean about it tonight and she counseled me to say to the therapist” wow, you’d said a couple really powerful things that we need to discuss” and I could completely do that in my professional life but somehow my mommy life from the day they were born is just a big stack of how inadequate I’ve been at giving them a normal life. I have got to come up with a plan to figure this all out. Funny you look at Trent and Sophie and they just are so together. Perhaps I should just look to learning from them.
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The babies had a good weekend. The warm weather was definitely – allowing of a nice long walk on Saturday with me so Aaron could wash all the windows in the house, lots of playing outside and a long trip to the park. They are so busy and definitely keep us running. It’s amazing what we do to keep them happy. During our long walk I had put Sophie if the front of the stroller since in the past she’s pulled Trent’s hair. Apparently that has changed though and since her hair is now longer, he just kept pulling it. The only thing I could think of to keep him from doing that was to run with the stroller. Geez. 50 pounds of baby and 15 pounds of stroller (not our jogging stroller either) kicked my butt. The babies just laughed and laughed.
Sleeping continues to be a challenge though. We now put out a stack of quilts and blankets for me to able to sleep on their floor (think of the princess and pea). She still wakes up but seems to just check if I’m there after a bit goes back down. My fingers are definitely crossed for lots of easy sleep for our Sophie girl this week. I feel like we’re just about ready to turn and corner and this just has to get easier.
A tough day and half for the Keene For whatever reason the babies schedule was out of whack last night and stayed off until early this morning. I am such a moron. I hear them crying and grab the afghan off the bed in the extra room but never seem to remember to grab a pillow, There are times when I’ve grabbed the princess sleeping bag but clearly it’s built for a toddler so I might as well be laying on puffed tissue. Needless to say, I am so going for the Costco dog bed this weekend. Last night was unsettling because Trent who usually is Mr. . Sleep was up crying and standing in his crib at 3am. It was so weird. I definitely thought it was Sophie when I heard crying but it was he. I think it may have been his belly though (Mr. Garbage gut) that was bothering him. Sophie on the other hand was able to hang out to almost 5am before she screamed. Thankfully I was already up and she just watched me run. We have just got to find a way to master the sleeping thing.
Today I took Sophie to the pediatrician for her Eczema. We had all these ointments but they’re clearly not working. Poor little thing has to wear pants or tights all the time with long sleeves to ensure she doesn’t scratch herself to the point of bleeding.
The doctor was so funny. She’s one in our normal practice but not one I’ve met before and the first thing she said when she walked in with Sophie’s chart was “ Wow – this thing is the size of a phonebook”. I kind of got the feeling she thought I was a hypochondriac mother until she read the first page in the chart and realized Sophie was a micro preemie. She then kind of backed off and said she’d never know Sophie had such a rough start (Sophie was dancing around the room at this point) if she hadn’t read the chart. We now had additional meds for morning and evening to help the itching and if that doesn’t work (in addition to the topical meds we already have) we’re off the dermatologist to see if all this is caused by an allergy.
We pray for both babies to just sleep and sleep and tonight….
Poor Sophie girl continues to struggle with her sleeping and last night was especially hard. Neither baby would go down easily (he of course was waiting for her to get settled in her crib) so I ended singing for almost 40 minutes goes through my entire repertoire. I have got to get some new songs.
Unfortunately 2:30am is new bewitching hour and she was up screaming. Poor little thing. She gets so upset. Somehow though lying next to her crib (not even touching actually since it’s too high) and telling her “Mama is here” helps her calm down. I am so lame though. Why I only grabbed a blanket and the princess sleeping back is beyond me. Did I not think a pillow would be a good idea? Needless to say, I felt a little beat up today. She and I have already discussed the need to a complete night of sleep and hopefully she heard me and will just totally crash. As hard as this is though, there is something heart warming about listening to the big boy just breath and sleep. After all the challenges we had early on with breathing, just listening to him breath in and out while he sleeps feels like such a blessing.
Today we got the results from our clinic assessment with the 6-month check in with our Early Start coordinator. The purpose of these meetings is to review the assessment of the babies progress, get the physical therapist, early interventionist, speech therapist, county social worker and the parents (me in this case) to talk. A TON of paperwork but a great meeting. Trent’s results were awesome. His therapist Lisa is clearly thrilled with his progress and she certainly deserves credit for a great deal of that progress. We set some new goals which all seem reasonable. Depending on his the outcome with his hearing, we may even terminate his speech therapy sessions after 3 months. We did get bad news though. Lisa, Trent’s therapist is leaving his clinic next month. I was devastated. She has been so integral in Trent’s progress and I can’t believe my little man’s heart is going to get broken at two month. It’s hard to know what to do but I’d really like to keep Trent with her and have left her a message asking where she’s going and if she’d continue to see the little man. Even if it requires us to go outside the early start program and use our health insurance, Aaron and I have agreed its well worth it to stay with Lisa as his therapist and figure it out. He’ made so much progress and we want to ensure we keep it going.
Sophie tested ok but there our definitely concerns with her balance and motor skills. The therapist feels she’s doing extremely well cognitively but her motor skills just aren’t there and often time she gets frustrated or is “done” because she’s frighten about what she can’t do or just doesn’t have the skill (like going up stairs or using a balance beam) The information was hard to hear but not unexpected. We’ve been reminded over and over again about the long-term effects of her head bleed and the subsequent hydrocephalus, so we’ve got to think of these results as just another step in the long road for Sophie. She’s trying so hard to catch up and be able to walk with the same steadiness her brother has. Therapy today though was a total disaster. I’m not sure if it was because last night’s sleeping was horrible or because the morning routine was off do to the Early Start meeting. Whatever it was, Sophie did not want PT today and was very clear about letting her therapist and I know her feelings. Needless to say we only went 45 minutes today and decided just to try it again next week.
Sleeping continues to be an issue. My colleague Carol suggested I get something like the large dog bed they sell as Costco. to sleep on the nursery floor. It’s the best idea I’ve heard in months. This is definitely on my list to do on Satruday and I’ll just hide it from our dog. Last night she was once again up at 2ish crying. I got her to go back down for 2 hours while I laid on the floor next to her crib but once I tried to slide out of the room, she woke right up. I got her back down but 2 hours later she was back up. Poor little lady- she was so upset. I wish I knew if it was just being a baby or something more.
Our Sophie girl continues to struggle with her sleeping. Last night (this morning was the 3am call. I wish I knew what it was that made her get up. However once she’s up she gets’s SOOO upset. Just beyond herself holding her head a SCREAMING. It breaks my heart. Yesterday she was so beyond herself that even lying on the floor with her didn’t help. She just wanted a bottle and to be upright.
Today we took them over to Grandpa and Grandma Godlewski’s (my folks) for brunch, Sophie was SOOOOO busy. She ran around and around without stopping. Trent on the other hand was more than happy to sit next to Grandma Carol and look at pictures of him and Sophie as tiny babies. Apparently this is something he’s done on a regular basis when he’s been at Grandma Carol’s and just loves it. Such a funny little man. He runs right for the toy drawer when he gets to Grandma and Grandpa’s house (located under the double oven in the kitchen) and then runs to the photo book in the living room.
Tonight was one of those total Willow Glen nights where our neighbors Jean and Dave just decided to make dinner for everyone. What a great evening! The babies just ran around chasing Jean’s 1-year-old niece Gianna and being watched by Laurel’s daughter Julianne.
It was so funny to watch Sophie dance to the top 20 Motown hits and Trent find Easter eggs that were left over from our egg hunts (3 were found). We are so fortunate to have such wonderful neighbors and friends.
Sophie continues to have good nights (or great) and not so good nights. Thankfully Thursday night was a great night and Friday night was almost a great night. I’m more than willing to do what it takes but it’s so much nicer to be able to sleep in my bed versus the floor in the room. I love the way our nursery is decorated but wishing someone would’ve suggested a full size carpet versus the very pretty circular one we have. I think they should come with warning labels like “ not recommended for rooms with hardwood floors” Surely Pottery Barn knows that eventually that mommies will end up trying to sleep on their rugs? Anyway, the princess sleeping bag is a godsend and thankfully it’s not an every night thing.
The babies continue to get more verbal everyday. I love it but somehow they always know when I’m on a business call. I’ve now got a work call every Tuesday and Friday at 8am. It all works fine- usually with the babies in their high chairs eating breakfast but on Friday they decided to get REALLY chatty. I was trying hard to mute my phone but couldn’t figure out how and the folks on the phone mentioned that we appeared to have additional guests. I was horrified! Next time I’m going to throw the phone in the refrigerator when it happens. Folks may hear a hum but a least we won’t crash conference calls/
We’re working really hard with Trent on his speech. Everyday he seems to improve. We can tell he wants to be as verbal as his sister. He’s trying so hard. He gets the words wrong but once we correct him, he repeats is and seems to practice.
Today was our usual Saturday routine. This morning I got up and walked with our neighbor/friend Jean. Unfortunately we had run out of milk and Sophie woke up screaming just as I was leaving. You gotta love Jean. It’s 6am but she answers as if it’s the most normal thing in the world to have me standing there hold an empty bottle. She just filled it up with milk, I ran across the street and heated it up – and then we went for our planned walk. Thankfully when I retuned 11/2 hours later, Sophie had gone back to sleep.
The rainy weekends are hard. We have tons of toys but there is just something about being able to go outside and run around. In preparation though for today’s rain we made a point of taking them for a long walk and to the playground. We totally wore them out. Hopefully tonight they’ll sleep very soundly.