July 2008

Tonight I came home at 8pm and both toddlers were asleep (yes in my mind I still think of them as babies). Could there be anything better?  I assure you not!  Aaron was SOOOO proud of himself.  Huge, Huge achievement given our last couple of weeks.  Our previously well definite 7:45 pm bedtime has just gone to hell and I know both Aaron and I are struggling with it.  We’re struggling with it so much that today I made of DVD of all my photos (which they love to watch on my computer and always say “ I want to see a picture of me!””  to put on our DVD player to help get into the bedtime routine- and I had a contractor come out today to add a dimmer in their bedroom to help facilitate bedtime stories.  Unfortunately although 90% of our house has new electrical – their room is still 1940s electrical so we’ll just need to go for a dimmer lap- to facilitate the bedtime /story process.

The last week has been busy with activities and summer colds.  It started with Sophie and quickly passed to Trent.  What a long week….. We’re almost to the end but Trent continues to struggle with a cough.  Everyday I think about (and discuss with Aaron) should we do the pediatrician?  Given his long dependence on the vent as an infant he early on was diagnosed with chronic lung disease which makes him more susceptible to upper respitory infections but the good news is that lung tissue rebuilds itself overtime and this is not a forever thing.  However at 3 – any respitory thing is still a concern.

Summer and all the events that go with it are so wonderful. This past weekend we tried to make the most of the free events in our local neighborhood.  On Saturday Willow Glen had its annual sidewalk sale, which include a free mini circus.  No animals but Sophie and Trent were beyond themselves watching the show.  Trent was transfixed watching the show (never moved at all) but Sophie wanted to be in the show.  At one point the clowns asked for the kids to come up and dance to disco on stage and of course Sophie was completely in her element.  She was so happy!  And of course was more than familiar with the song. 

On Sunday we took them to the Animal Planet Expo.  They had such a great time.  They loved watching the dogs perform (the whole performing with Frisbees), meeting the llamas, learning about the environment, meeting butterflies and crawling through the GIANT blow up alligator.  Not sure why I thought wearing a skirt was a good idea.  Definitely NOT the right thing to wear when crawling through a giant blown up alligator (Sophie wanted me to come with her) Needless to say I ended up doing a Brittany Spears and flashing several toddlers.

They are SOOO busy, This morning Trent being his very creative self, dragged his plastic table over to the cabinet that we keep the cookies in (he has a HUGE sweet tooth) and took advantage of the fact that we forgot to put the child lock back in.  Needless to say- Trent almost had the festival for cookies for breakfast.   While we were completely impressed by his creativity- today made Aaron and I completely aware that we MUST always put the child locks on and move the sweets to a MUCH higher shelf in the pantry.

We continue to search for preschools.  Talk about pressure.  I’m been on a continuous tour and it’s definitely challenging.  There are so many good things about the schools I’ve visited several have not been quite right (not play based and are focused on test scores) while others are plain just hard to get into.  I have decided though that I want to place them in a school closer to home.  I know that sounds silly but for me – it feels that I’m finally setting an objective which will help me find the right school.  

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It’s been a busy- “life really just shows you things” couple of weeks for our family.  Over the last past week Sophie girls sleeping issues have returned. Definitely a HUGE bummer but thanks goodness for DVR.  My days of Chips reruns are over and NOW I can record the various seasons of Dallas in preparation for a sleepless nights. My poor child though- she is as hooked as I am (big thing for Bobby Ewing).  Hopefully this is just growing pains and it will soon pass.

Last weekend Aaron took a long anticipated, very much excited about fishing trip with 6 other guys, My plan was to try to get visited by the San Jose Police to make a house call to scold me for the festival of disco music and have my older sister Liz come visit to hang with us.  It all started good but then got cut short.  Unfortunately one of guys on Aaron’s trip dived off a high rock into the Kern River and almost lost his life.  He apparently hit his head on a rock under the water and Aaron ended up being the one pulling him out.  Bobby is VERY fit and a solid 200lbs so getting him out with a broken neck was no easy feat and pulling him out almost drown Aaron.  Definitely one of those calls that just makes you hold your breath.  Poor Aaron- he was just distraught.  Unfortunately I got the call when we were all over at my parents and at first I thought Aaron was talking about his dad (Bobby) when he was saying, “Bobby was dying”.  Thankfully my sister quickly understood something was wrong and quickly got Trent and Sophie into my parent’s house.  Trent though figured something was up by the way I was acting and freaked.  Ever since Sophie was ill last year and my sister came to stay without her husband for a few weekends- Trent has always been super aware of when Aunt Lizzy comes without Uncle Randy (the case this past weekend) and immediately thought the worst when I was explaining the situation to my parents.  We quickly changed Aaron’s friend Bobby’s name though to Mike since Trent was completely aware what was happening and we couldn’t figure out a way to explain the difference between our friend Bobby and Grandpa Bobby.  Trent though kept asking for over 3 hours.  What happened to Mike? (the name we used), is Papa ok?, where is Papa? Is Papa sad? the same questions hour after hour.  Aaron had decided to come home after they air lifted his friend out and finally I put Trent on the phone with Aaron so he could hear Aaron’s voice for himself.   Needless to say, Trent has been extremely clingy- and very worried about his Papa- even though Aaron is home and obvious safe.  Watching a toddler try to process an emergency/unthinkable event is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.  He tried so very hard to understand but just couldn’t.  It was heart breaking.

Our little Sophie has been fighting a cold and that too made more a mellow weekend.  I have no idea where she picked up a cold in the middle of summer but we now fear it will go through the household before it leaves us.  Not a major deal by any means but something we’d rather do without.

Today I took her to her yearly check up with the neurologist.  He’s a great doctor but Dr. Edwards he’s not.  Every time we see him I wonder what on earth made him think pediatrics was the specialty for him and today was no difference.  First the good news.  He said she looked great and her neurological exam looked great as well No seizure activity was definitely a bonus as well The bad news- her serious illness last year, her extreme prematurity (he reminded me as if I could ever forget), her hydrocephalus (reminded me there was no cure- another thing I’m not likely to forget) and the possibility of a development delay (yet another reminder I could’ve lived without).  While none of this is news or new information- it sure was an awful lot to get in a short 15-minute exam for a guy who sees her once a year and is so cold he could freeze ice.  I’m not kidding myself of everything that is out there but Aaron and I both know we’re doing everything we can for her and that we just have to keep it working at it one day at a time.  It’s funny – 3 years ago Aaron and I would’ve completely freaked out but now we both just said” he’s an ass” to each other and focus on our Sophie.

Tonight we had one of those impromptu neighbor gatherings.  I was suppose to be validating a code release for one of the systems I own for Apple and of course the kids wanted to go for a walk and our IT guys were running late so- out we went around the block. We ended up at a neighbors house and pretty soon Aaron came running down saying my phone was ringing off the hook and we both knew it was my work – telling me to get on it- so Aaron took over.  The evening ended with an impromptu musical concert with the 3 dads’ who were there and the kids- a great way to end a Tuesday night!

So I’ve always loved our tile floors in our kitchen, half bath and bathrooms but have never been happy with the grout (a much longer story) but today- was very happy that we did indeed have a very nice tile (water non event) floor today.  Tuesday is my “work at home morning” and each Tuesday has presented a challenge on the “work at home” aspect of it all.  I typically plan non-brain activities but there are still those phone calls that do regard focus on the task at hand and “assume” that our 3 year olds cant hang tough.  Well today I learned that the  “collective focus” was definitely not the focus.  Yes, I know we all need water and I love my water bottle but why is it that I didn’t think to push it forward on our counters?  Needless to say when I got off the phone – the floor was COMPLETELY covered in water, Sophie was SOAKING wet, and. the insult to injury was that the house cleaner had been in our house yesterday soooo. – Really nothing to be achieved with the extra floor wash.     

I love, love, love age 3.!  They are so much fun! .  We’re older parents- which we completely own but I think it makes every they do so much entertaining and easy to deal with, Aaron and I spend more time with “events” saying “ hmm look at that”. And for our continuous sleepless nights we think” Hmmm. We had almost 11 years to sleep in our marriage- a couple of non sleep years are not that big of a deal.  We worry about Trent though.  We know he was deeply impacted by Sophie’s long absence last October and mine but to this day… he still asks “will I come back?” almost every time I leave.  I guess nothing will reassure him other than to constantly show up and always be there.  Forever….

The summer is flying by so quickly and unfortunately the heat continues to be with us.  Last week was one of those where several us (myself, our caregiver Doris and Tia) held our collective breath worrying about how Sophie girl would do with the heat.  Thankfully for the most part she was fine.  But boy was it hot and I sure do continue to kick myself about not putting in air conditioning when we remodeled our house a couple of years ago. Thankfully we have the little plastic pool (and have gotten every nickel out of our $20 investment) several of our neighbors (well all actually) have air and have told us when can come at any time, and finally – Aaron’s never ever said “ I told you so”.   Now that we know Sophie can’t do heat it will probably have to come sooner rather than later but for now- we’re dealing.   She did have her moments though.  For whatever reason- they were always in the morning.  Lots of fussiness, crying, clingy and just an overall unhappy toddler.  But after a nap- she was her old self again.

Aaron and I continue to think she’s just trying to grow though.  Along with all the sleeping the other thing she wants is FOOD.  24×7.  Never full- always hungry.  It’s very odd, as she never looks like she’s putting it on- but just very in shape.  Trent eats too but is much for finicky about his food and doesn’t require nearly the naps she does.  However, when he sleeps- he sleeps hard and nothing can wake him.

They are so different but have so many similar traits. We’ve been working on summersaults.  Wow those are hard.  I don’t think I’ve done one since I was about 7 – and I’m pretty sure I was as bad then at them as I am now.  But I suppose it’s all about being a mom and just bucking up.  I just have to remember that all my neighbors are wonderful friends and will give me a “pass” if they drive by and see a lame summersault demo for my twins. Watching Trent, you’d never even think cerebral palsy was a concern for him.  He is so agile. Chasing balls, tumbling, riding his skate board, helping his sister and being all boy- from the looks of him- he looks and sounds like any other 3 year old (that is maybe just a tab smaller than normal). Sophie continues to have her challenges with speech and movement but we’re still getting therapy for both issues and I believe it is indeed helping.   We know her brain injury has delayed her a bit but she certainly makes up for it with her spirit and will to keep up with her brother.  

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Our babies are growing up so fast.  I can’t even believe it’s July.  The 4th of July weekend has been lots of fun and yet still a bit bittersweet.

After much discussion, my father and stepmother have decided to sell the family home in which my sisters and I were raised.  Although it’s long past due with it’s size and all the up keep that goes with it- it’s still hard to see it go since it’s basically the only home we all remember.  It’s also the last link to my mother.  In preparation for the move and saying goodbye my parents decided to have a 4^th of July party.  We were all thrilled that my sister Ann came down from Washington to participate as well. 

On Friday Ann and I took Trent and Sophie to Happy Hallow.  Their final day is July 7^th so we were trying to make sure Trent and Sophie got as much Happy Hallow as possible before they close for the park redo. As usual the kids had an amazing time.  This time though they were particularly enamored with the play structure/slide in the shape of a shoe (think of the little old lady in the shoe theme).  My sister thought that was quite assuming since I tend to have a great fondness for shoes which Aaron and the kids share- and it was only fitting they would want to bond with that particular play structure.  I don’t think my sister had been there since she was four and I’m not sure how much she remembered about it but it sure was nice for her to be able to spend time with my kids and for them to get to know her better.

On Friday we had the farewell to the “ Saratoga house” and celebrated the 4^th of July.  I know it’s the right thing for them to move but we will certainly miss going there.  The kids just love the pool too.  Uncle Randy brought them 4^th of July balloons and they were SOOO happy. Hours of fun.  Needless to say they completely crashed in the car on the way home.  The sun, playing and the pool just worn them out. 

Fireworks were hard for the Sophie though.  For the most part they’re suppose to be illegal but we’re still in the vicinity of some local events and poor Sophie was just beside herself with the noise. She just cried and cried – screaming “ Mama- make it stop, no more booms”.  Nothing I could do would calm here and I just had to hold her close and tell her they would stop.  She absolutely HATES loud noises and it’s almost at if they cause her pain.  Dr. Edwards has said that issues with loud noises are not uncommon for children with hydrocephalus but even knowing that doesn’t make it any easier when she’s screaming.  Trent though was able to sleep through it- happily snoring in his bed.

Today we took them to Lake Alamaden to check out the new playground.  They’re a bit young for some of the structures but had a grand time trying to get to know the giant parade of Geese.    Parenting though is definitely not something you can ever say you’ve officially “mastered”.  Aaron and I have been at this for a while now and yet this weekend we still make two significant errors.  Error #1. Forgetting our stroller on a mall/outlet shopping trip yesterday.   Huge error that resolved in the renting of a very posh (not cheap) fire engine double stroller.   Error #2.   Taking our kids out to lunch today when they were OVER the top hungry and not getting an appetizer.  Needless to say- the people sitting near us at Chili’s today did not enjoy the peaceful meal they’d hoped for while our two screamed (mostly Sophie) for food.   Next time- I will be prepared with gold fish crackers to ward off hunger meltdowns.

This week is supposed to be quite warm (about 100 degrees) and not something that will be easy for Sophie.  Trent too will be hot but as long as he’s got water, can be naked baby (or scantily clad) and be in their pool- he should be fine. For Sophie though – it can be so much more difficult.  Thankfully just about all our neighbors have air conditioning and we know that should Sophie get over heated- we have options.

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It’s hard to believe but on June 29^th- our beautiful toddlers became “ technically three”. I know all our doctors have said “technically” preemies – even micro preemies are suppose to be caught up at age two but I’ve come to realize that to say at 2 years old micro preemies are suppose to be magically caught up for the extra 3 ½ months on the womb is a bit of an over statement.  The good news though is that we’ve caught up in the most important things- such as development.  Yes, Sophie is a bit behind in her speech and motor skills but in addition to be a micro preemie she also has had to deal with her hydrocephalus and everything that comes with that and it too has left it’s mark.  So for now we’re focusing really, really hard on speech and mind motor skills (and she continues to show progress everyday).  Their size though continues to worry me.  They’re definitely growing but it’s still hard not to freak out to know that their 3 years old and still wearing some 18-month and 24 month clothes.  Granted every manufacturer is different and it’s not like Aaron and I are the couple you’d invite over if you wanted to clean out your very tall cabinets and yet – it’s still hard not worry that they’re very small for the age.   I guess it’s just a deep breath and a focus on the positive. But man are they BUSY!!!!

Last week I traveled to Ireland for work and Aaron’s folks stayed with us to help our.   Aaron’s mom had made comments about not watching her diet but every time she’s helped watched the twins she’s always lost weight and I’m sure last week was no different.  Summer with all its glory though can be hard.  It’s absolutely wonderful that weather is so nice and the day light lasts into the evening but the heat is such a challenge for Sophie now that we just have to be very hyper aware of changes in her behavior.  That on top of the horrible fires in northern California that produced an abundance of smoke (which can be quite dangerous for Trent with his chronic lung disease) made last week a bit challenging. Thank goodness though we are in a cooling trend now and the smoke is dissipating.

They have definitely kept Aaron on our toes though this week.  Coming home was such a joy. Once they woke up from the their nap I got the best “THE MAMA IS HERE” greeting.  No mama has ever had such a warm welcome.  On Saturday we tried to lie low with the horrible smoke but definitely made up for it on Sunday.  We did a quick trip to Happy Hallow (two more weeks before it closes) and took a nice family bike ride.  Unfortunately once we got home the kids were playing with their toy golf set and the lure of the tail pipe on Aaron’s very nice new car was just too much.  Pretty soon Trent was jumping up and down pointing and calling for me with his hand covered in exhaust.  Clearly not a good thing.    Aaron was beyond upset (emphasis on beyond) Lots of man frustration, talk to towing, the dealer etc and then a plan.   He started up the car and asked me to stand behind it so I could catch.  Good move- out flew the yellow golf ball and all was well again.  Needless to say- we are now the proud owner of a very nice car cover and both children are quite clear that the nothing should go anywhere near the car.

In spite of it all- we still remind each other how incredibly blessed we are and continue to be thankful for every single day.